Jerzeemama

Blogging

2011-06-01T19:08:00.001-07:00

I created a blog for our library. My son suggested I do it. I'm so glad I did. I look at it and smile. It's beautiful. My hope is that I'll get going with it so I get to the point where I'm blogging on an almost daily basis. The blog is here: madisonpubliclibrary.wordpress.com

Work is work-ish

2011-04-28T16:28:00.000-07:00

Or so my older son would say. Actually, truth be told work has been somewhat hell-ish this week. My office space was moved temporarily (ha!) to a space the size of a walk-in closet months ago. I actually believed that I would be back in my usual wide-open area within six weeks. It's been almost six months. The "temporary" space seems a tad smaller each day. The lack of desk space is incredibly depressing. I find myself going into other spaces to hang out, almost as if it's the only way I can breathe. I love my job, but it seems so much harder to do in my current physical surroundings. Pressure is building over a couple of expensive programs I've booked. I'm pushing to publicize them everywhere possible, but I'm incredibly nervous at the prospect that the room could truly be half full on the night of the events. I'm making flyers, signs, sending out pr, posting on online calendars....and yet I'm still wondering if it's enough. And on top of this, my "goals" meeting with my boss is next week. I am so fortunate to have the boss I do. She's wise and bright and caring. And she's incredibly organized. Oh, how I wish I had her skills. The goals meeting scares me. It's serious business that could mean my job....or just a raise in a year. I have to have goals that are creative and yet attainable. I'm constantly treading water. What I want to do is dive in and swim until I win the race. It just seems as though there are constant islands put in front of me that I need to swim around to get to the finish. I'm in my own little video game. All will be well if I can just blow the islands out of the water, and keep my eyes looking straight ahead!

Seeing the other side of life

2011-04-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

I've been traveling to Philadelphia lately for medical tests at Temple University Hospital. Nothing terribly serious, but something that has to be handled. I go to Temple because the doctor I'm seeing is the best in his field. Each time I find myself in a situation where I become so aware of how fortunate I am. Yet even more than that, I get in touch with the compassion I feel for others. The empathy. Temple University is in an extremely poor part of the city. Last week I met a woman who is probably 35 or 40 years old. She's a grandmother. The inner city has been her home since birth. She had ovarian cancer a few years ago. Chemotherapy worked on that tumor. Two years ago she was shot three times in the back. During surgery, the doctors found she had a large tumor in her breast. It has now moved to her spine and her liver. She has no insurance, and is only receiving the care that is available to charity patients. As I listened to her story, which she offered freely, I wondered about what her daily life must be like. She spends many hours each week in treatment. She lives in constant pain. There is very little hope that she will survive another year...maybe less. Yet she continues to get up each day and go about her life with some degree of hope. Otherwise, why would she bother? She wants to live for her children and her grandchildren. I hope she does.

Philadelphia

2011-03-30T06:49:00.000-07:00

It's been a very long time since my last post. Today I find the need to write a few words. I'm off to Philadelphia today for an appointment at Temple University Medical Center. For the past year I've had trouble swallowing. It got progressively worse. Last July I had an emergency endoscopy. The situation was better for a while, but then in the fall it worsened once more. Swallowing became so difficult that nothing but liquids would go down. Eventually, I got to a point where liquids wouldn't go down either. Another endoscopy. Once again, the immediate problem was solved. Trouble again at Christmas. In January, after months of tests, my gastroenterologist shot botox into my esophagus. Who knew that botox did more than get rid of wrinkles? It paralyzed my esophagus in an open state so food would once more go down. At that point though, my doctor decided surgery was the only thing that would completely solve the problem. (The botox actually worked until a few days ago, but I knew all along it was a temporary fix). I'm going to see the top surgeon in the field today. The hubster and I are off to Philly in about an hour. I'm nervous. I know very little about this procedure. I only know that it's much more invasive than anything else I've had done so far. I'd go through just about anything to have the problem solved. Fingers crossed. Off I go.

We're taking a vacation!!

2010-08-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I talked Monte into a road trip to Maine. He is not one for vacationing. The last time we went away was the summer of 2006. Justin was living in Bar Harbor, and we went up to move him back home. We spent a week by ourselves in a lovely little place on the water, while Justin packed up his stuff and said good-bye to his friends. Here we are four years later....it seems like so much longer...and we're going off to Portland this time. We both love the Portland area, and it doesn't hurt that our niece and her husband live there. :) We adore them so the 6 hour drives seems well worth it. We'll leave the 17th. I only talked him into 5 days and 4 nights, but that's ok. We're going to see the Portland Sea Dogs (minor league baseball) play while we're there. And I'm going to eat lobster every chance I get!

The summer is winding down at the library. It's been such a great summer of programs for all ages. Now I have to quickly schedule fall programs so the word gets out via the newsletter. Movies, music, crafts....lots of things coming up. And I'm still pinching myself that I'm the one who gets to have this fabulous job!

I have to do my evaluation before my boss locks me in a closet to do it. Good thing to do on a Sunday afternoon.

Happy Trails....

Carrie

Erin's a mommy

2010-07-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, so her babies are two months old now...almost...but I still can't get over the fact that she's a mommy. My sweet 40-something niece is a mommy...of twins. She's been very special to me for a long time. Watching her go through her teen-age years was sometimes heartbreaking, often heartwarming. She was part of our wedding, she vacationed with us....we loved having her with us. Monte teased her mercilessly and she gave it right back. At last she found her prince, and they have created a family. Makes me smile just to think about it. :)

Fabric Shoppe on Etsy

2010-07-09T09:02:00.000-07:00

I love this site! So many gorgeous fabrics to choose from, and you can buy by the bundle or buy scraps, too! Great for quilters! Go to www.etsy.com/fabricshoppe

The Oscars

2010-03-06T15:09:00.000-08:00

I live for Oscar night. Really. I love movies and I love the Oscar ceremony, the red carpet, the clothes, the whole deal. So imagine how upset I got when I found out that our cable company...Cablevision....is duking it out with ABC 7 in NYC. And if they don't reach an agreement over $$$$$ by midnight tonight?? NO OSCARS FOR ME!!! My friends and I have a ritual that begins with Barbara Walters and runs through the very end of the awards. We do it every year. It's so much fun. Now what do we do? We're calling bars and restaurants in the area to see if they have satellite for Verizon Fios, and will let us watch their TV. So far, no luck.

This really bites.

Negative things I'm thankful for

2009-11-30T13:14:00.000-08:00

I truly believe that you learn something from every experience in life....or rather that you CAN learn something from every experience. Positive or Negative, life is full of millions of lessons. I don't think that you have to have bad times to appreciate the good, but I am grateful for some of the bad times in my life. I remember when I was about 30 years old and was going through a very rough break-up with a boyfriend. I'd been crying and crying, and then all of a sudden I realized something. Why would I want to be with someone who didn't want me? It sounds so simple, but it was a breakthrough for me. I'd gone through relationship after relationship that should have ended long before they did. But I kept clinging and squeezing every last breath out of each one. Something happened on the night of that break-up that made me realize that I was worth being loved, and that I only wanted to be with someone who loved me as much as I loved him.

My husband and I just went through an 8 week period of having a young man who was homeless live with us. It started off fine. The fellow was only supposed to be here for one week. He never showered, never laundered his clothes, never lifted a finger and we were giving him free room and board. And here's why I'm grateful I went through all of that. My husband and I now know that we really weren't helping him at all. We were enabling him. We wanted to support him in finding his own place, but we made life so easy for him that he just settled in and let us do everything for him. I learned so much about myself during those 8 weeks. I discovered that it's very hard for me to say something to someone that might result in them liking me less. There were times when I should have corrected his behavior, but I didn't. I just let him go. I learned that I expect my husband to deal with certain situations that I'm perfectly capable of handling. The list goes on and on. So I'm grateful that we went through those 8 weeks, and I'm grateful that I looked to see what I learned from them.

Something I feel grateful for in my life today

2009-11-29T10:07:00.000-08:00

I'm so grateful that I learned how to knit. It's been such a blessing. It calms me in a way that nothing else does. Even when I'm working on a difficult pattern, just knowing that I'm creating something beautiful relaxes me. One of the things I love about knitting is its portability. Is that a word? I can take it wherever I go. Sometimes I just go to a local coffee shop with my knitting and sit for a couple of hours working on my latest project. It's a great conversation starter, too. Once I was knitting in a Starbucks in NYC while waiting for my son. A man came over, sat down and started talking about his knitting. He had knitted over 50 afghans for friends and family. We had such a nice conversation and the time really flew by. I can always get a conversation going with someone who is knitting. It's wonderful to have a hobby that you can continue to learn about. I've been knitting for 7 years, and I can really see the growth in my skills. I still take classes and learn from friends who have more experience. Knitting makes me happy!

2009-11-28T06:20:00.000-08:00

An alphabetical list of things I'm thankful for:

anchovies

beautiful days

caroline

daisies

ellen degeneres

flowers

giggles

hats

iguanas

jelly and jam

knitting

love

mad men

newspapers

old people

presents

quilts

roses

sisters and sons

theatre

umbrellas

violets

waste baskets with lids

xerox machines

yellow tulips

zebras

Gratitude Challenge

2009-11-27T10:52:00.000-08:00

I've decided to accept the Gratitude Challenge from www.gratitudechallenge.com Lately, I've been listing 3 things I'm thankful for each day and I've found it to be an uplifting activity. We so often forget all of the good things in our lives. The day AFTER Thanksgiving seems to be the perfect time to start a project like this. There's so much rushing around at this time of year, and taking a few minutes to sit back and reflect on what the good things in life can only be a positive experience.

Eat, Love, Pray

2009-08-16T10:25:00.000-07:00

I'm reading "Eat, Love, Pray." I stayed up until after 2:00 this morning reading. I feel as though the author has been listening to my thoughts. It's as though she knows things that I've never told anyone. As I read it, it occurred to me that I should be writing down the things that I are in my mind. There's always been an inner voice in my head telling me that I could write a book. "Eat, Love, Pray" is exactly what I always thought that book would be like.

I am thinking about going to Italy for my 60th birthday. The thing is, I just don't know if I want to go alone or invite someone to go along. I am thinking that spending a week in a small Italian town all alone would be an amazing birthday present. Although, I know myself well enough to know that I might end up never leaving the house where I stay. Would that be wrong? After all, it's MY birthday. I even have a place to stay in Tuscany. I have months to decide.

Another Sunday

2009-08-02T14:39:00.000-07:00

August? Already? The summer is zipping by me so fast. I don't really mind since Autumn is my favorite season. And if it's August it means I'm that much closer to going to Stitches East. I am so excited about going. I'll be there with two friends who are great knitters. We're all taking different classes so we can learn from each other when we get home.

I've been working on NY Mets socks since May. Ugh. The colors are great. Finished the first one....you know what's next....just can't seem to finish the second one. I am making them for a friend whose birthday was May 22nd. I have to finish them because I have a huge container of sock yarn from Maryland Sheep and Wool waiting for me. I'm trying to force myself to finish the Mets socks before I start another pair. This is REALLY hard!

It's a rainy Sunday. A quick trip into NYC this morning, then home to laundry and playing on the computer. Time for some knitting. Maybe I can actually finish that sock today! That would make me very happy.

Sundays

2009-04-05T10:35:00.000-07:00

The best thing about Sunday is the quiet. The whirr of the refrigerator, the chirp of a bird outside, the branches lightly brushing the window.....the quiet sounds of a Sunday afternoon. All alone, I sit typing on the computer wondering if a nap is in my near future. Or should I watch that movie I've been holding on to for a time like this.....or read a book that is overdue at the library.....or knit just for the sake of knitting.

I hated Sundays when I was teen. That panicky feeling started to build in the early afternoon as I realized my homework had to get done...and done well...or there would be no "Ed Sullivan"....or worse yet...no "Bonanza" in the evening. Every Sunday the "Bonanza Syndrome" took over my day and all I could hear was the sound of panic in the back of my head. I ended up rushing through my homework and doing it just to get it done. After all, Little Joe was waiting for me on NBC!

Today there's no pressure. Just the quiet. I'm all alone today. Just for a few hours. I can almost smell the silence. A feeling of peace is building up in me. Time to move to the deck and take in the sunshine. No "Bonanza Syndrome" today. Just pure peace and quiet.

no control

2008-10-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

Still can't seem to get my life in order. I've been working full-time now for four months, and I am no more in control than I was way back in June. We never have food in the house. I never cook. I fall asleep most of the time when I try to knit. I've only read two books since June. Is this going to get better? I love my job so much, but I need more. And I feel like I'm never going to get it. Argghh.

Holy Socks, Batman!!

2008-10-25T17:35:00.000-07:00

My father used to vacuum our bedrooms when we were teen-agers. He didn't do it so much to clean, but more to make a point. He only vacuumed when we'd left things all over the floor. I'll never forget the time he vacuumed my Beach Boys albums. Of course, it scratched the hell out of them and I was so angry! But his response was "If you'd put things where they belong, you wouldn't have a problem." So now, all these years later, I often leave things all over the floor on my side of the bed. I know I'm just doing it to get back at a man who has been dead for over 30 years, but I can't help it. But yesterday, I think for the first time ever, I really saw what he was talking about. I found my favorite pair of wool socks, which I made two years ago, on the floor where they'd been for a long time. It was cold so I was really happy to see them and grabbed them up to put them on. I put the first one on and was already filled with the joy that wearing something I made gives me. Then I put the other one on and....oh, crap!! Moths had gotten to it. Two huge holes. One where the big toe is supposed to go and the other on the bottom of the foot. I almost cried! I could hear his voice saying "If you'd put things where they belong...." Ugh.

baby sweater

2008-09-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

I've been working on an easy Debbie Bliss baby sweater. I should have finished it in a week-end. I ripped out the back the other day because I didn't like the way it looked. Since I went back to work (after years as a SAHM), I can't seem the time or the patience to get things done. I keep thinking I'll come up with a system, but it doesn't happen. I really loved staying at home. I did so much volunteer work that sometimes I felt as though I worked full-time. Yet I always found time to do the things I love. Nowadays I can't seem to do that. Ugh.

great film

2008-08-29T18:39:00.001-07:00

Loved "Elegy!" Ben Kingsley was wonderful as a vulnerable, flawed man in his 60's who couldn't make a commitment. Penelope Cruz was so good as the woman who comes into his life and gets to him like no other woman has. The movie is really well directed, shot and cast. I highly recommend it. But beware, this is a drama that is quite heavy at times. Don't go if you're looking for light fare.

Movies

2008-08-28T12:59:00.000-07:00

Going to see "Elegy" tonight with my movie buddy, Caroline. Penelope Cruise and Ben Kinsgley star in it. It got a 75% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is better than most movies have done this summer.

Saw "The Visitor" earlier in the summer and really loved it. Also saw "Tell No One," which is based on the novel by Harlan Coben. Liked it, but thought the book was much better. Some strange changes were made for the film.

I'm always happy when the fall comes because so many good movies come out. I really prefer Independent films. They have so much more soul than the big studio flicks. I ordered two films from Netflix today that were recommended to me by one of the librarians at the library where I work. One is "Water," and the other is actually a mini-series from BBC called "Body and Soul." I have the DVD of "God Grew Tired of Us" at home. Hope to watch it this week-end. Looks like a wonderful film.

Wiawaka Knitting and Spinning Retreat

2008-08-25T18:36:00.000-07:00

Oh, what a wonderful four days I just had. My sister's friend, Harriet, invited the two of us to join her and 13 other women on a knitting and spinning retreat at Wiawaka on Lake George in upstate NY. First of all, Wiawaka is one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen in my life. The landscaping is beautiful and Wiawaka's property is right on the lake. Lake George is a lovely, clear lake. You can actually see the bottom! The weather was perfect, the flowers were beautiful. What more can you ask for? Oh, well you can ask to spend four days laughing and talking and spinning and knitting with a group of truly wonderful women! And that's exactly what happened. We all stayed together in a 16 bedroom building that is appropriately called Lake House. There was a large common room that was screened in on three sides and overlooked the lake. Heaven! I spun yarn for the first time ever and am now determined to really learn how and to buy a spinning wheel. My only regret is that we couldn't stay longer!

ugh....

2008-07-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

Started a fabulous new job about 5 weeks ago. Only problem is my knitting has come to almost a complete stop. I need to get into the rhythm of working full-time (it's been a very long time since I worked a 40 hour week!) so I can set aside knitting time. I've made so little progress on the 2 socks on a circular needle.....and the last class is on Monday night!! Looks like this afternoon will be knitting time.

2 socks on 1 circular

2008-07-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a class on knitting 2 socks on 1 circular needle. I must say I love it! I didn't think I'd ever want to go away from dpn's, but I love watching both socks progress together. They are cuff down socks, and I'm almost to the heel. This Friday is the class that will show us how to knit the heel in this style. I'm excited to get them done. Will probably start on another pair right away so I remember how to do it. I'll add photos this week when I have time.